#18 Christmas time

Well yesterday (Dec 23)  was a bugger!   Mom had 2 accidents major ones.. yuck within 3 hrs of each other.   I guess her tummy may have been bothering her.  So needless to say the day I had hoped to wrap gifts became the day I cleaned bathroom floors and did laundry!!       Later that day she was much better.  

With all the kids coming home for Christmas she became a bit paranoid thinking she should leave (back to her room)  When she finally adapted to all the business around the house she became much happier.

She is pretty happy with all the snacks in the house!   Her sugar addiction is being fulfilled for a few days..... I made some "scotch cakes"  (iced shortbread cookies)  When she saw them she gave me stink eye until I told her they were ready... she ate about 3 of them... then I had her stop because I needed some to be left for tomorrow.  She was not very happy with me so I gave her some fudge..as a concession prize!

Tonight while wrapping she wanted to help wrap so I had her put the bows on a few packages... it was funny how long she took to pick the "right" one.   We watched "The Sound of Music"  surprisingly  she knew the words to the songs... just not who I am....LOL~

Tomorrow is Christmas, that pretty much marks the anniversary of her moving in with us.   I hope despite how frustrating and exhausting I am at times,  she can make it one more year with us.  Looking forward to tomorrow when Santa arrives :)  good night for now

# 17 turn for the worse...

It's been a while since my last post..... Mom was having a  hard time after we raised her depression meds dosage.  She is not thinking clearly at all.... slightly ironic now that I think of it since I didn't she thought clearly before now!!   Oh well, so I call the Dr. and explain that while she has stopped crying on a daily basis  she is really incoherent.   She was worse mentally than before so we changed her back to the original dosage and I guess we will just deal with the tears.     So far I can tell her that it is not possible for us to go to Canada due to the cold weather and my job...that seems to appease her easily.

The latest activity seems to be that she has an aversion to underwear.   Every night when she gets ready for bed I get to remind her that panties are a GOOD thing.    The other night ( I was working late) I guess she was having a hard time getting her pajamas on  and Anthony was home he went to help her and there she was standing with her shirt on and no panties... he freaked out!    (thank goodness she had her back to him or he might have had a stroke )   Anyway he handed her the bottoms to her jammies and ran like heck!! ........   the next morning I saw her and she had her pj top on correctly but on her bottom she had another shirt!!  The neck of the shirt was around her waist and the arms were flailing loosely like a scarf on both sides... and NOT a panty in sight!!   The neck/waist was real tight!!  We laughed and laughed as we tried to get it off... Lord knows how she even got it on!!  

Recently she has not been taking her medicine like she is supposed too.  She is also having issues dressing herself  (as you can tell )   She has still been struggling even after the med change, and I will be having some in home care coming after the first of the year.  Just someone to make sure she is dressed and takes her medicine and has a good lunch.  Approximately 3 hours each day... hopefully this will work for a while.

# 16 translator needed!

I've decided to not call each blog a day.... seems confusing since it's more like monthly!     Things have been a bit weird lately.     Last month after mom kept crying (almost daily) about going to Canada, I talked to her doctor to see if her meds could be adjusted.     She is in pretty darn good overall health no blood pressure or cholesterol meds at all!      but she is on some Alzheimer and depression stuff.    The dr said we should adjust the depression meds so we did.... Well today I am hoping we can go back to the original dose.   I wanted to give it some time..... it did make her stop crying but it really affected her ability to process and think clearly.     She/I  have had a rough time of it.    She already struggles with ideas and words and this medicine really screwed her thinking up even more.  Multiple times she couldn't put her shirt on.... she would climb into it like it was pants...one leg in each arm.   Hopefully she can do better on the lower dose.

We went to Target today, and of course I had to get us some popcorn. It was time for a snack and they have great popcorn. After we ran our errands and had eaten about half the popcorn we went home.    Since she likes the birds and squirrels we have in our front yard I told her they might like our leftovers.      I told her to toss/sprinkle the popcorn out in the yard while I unpacked our packages.    I look out the window and there she is tearing up the bag and sprinkling small pieces of bag all over the yard!!   I went out to help her get it right... it took a bit but she eventually got it.  The squirrel was VERY happy !

Tonight when she decided to go to bed, she got up off the recliner and looked around the room, I asked her "Are you going to bed?"  ..... she said "There is no sense in doing this and this and all the rest right now"  I agreed...... If someone could please translate ????

Day 15 What cha’ got cookin’ ?

Well things have been relatively smooth lately with mom…she of course continues to dwell on going to Canada.    I have figured out that if I tell her that we can probably go next summer she seems to let it go easier.   Of course she says “Well I probably won’t even be around by then”….I called her Dr. and she suggested we up her “happy pills” a notch since this issue happens 3 or 4 times per week.

Mom’s newest frustrating behavior is to empty her closet daily as she looks through her clothes. I think she probably changes clothes 3 times each day….…. She gets about 4 or 5 shirts out and 2 or 3 pair of pants and lays them all over her rocking chair or her bed.  So each night when I brush her teeth I have to go hang them back in her closet.  I believe that VERY soon many of her choices are going to disappear!      I think that I will remove all but a couple of each just in case she spills or has an accident.

I had planned to have some corned beef tonight for dinner, via the crock-pot.       I know that mom has a tendency to want to mess with things in the kitchen… not in a harmful way but in a nuisance way….example pushing the buttons on the coffee pot so the time has to be reset everyday!!! ( I have it programmed to start brewing at a particular time)   So this morning before I went to work I got everything ready to go.      I removed the temperature knob from the front of the crock-pot so she could not turn it off.  (Smart right?? )

……. When I got home I noticed there was not much of a “crock-pot” smell as one would expect when food has been cooking all day.   And you guessed, mom had made her move!!   She had unplugged the crock-pot from the outlet…. It was still real warm but not even close to being well done. 

I mentioned to mom that she really should not unplug things because she could be hurt.  She was offended and  very ticked that I accused her of messing with the crock-pot.    Because she “would NEVER do that”

   Off she goes to pout……. About 5 minutes later as I am putting dishes away… trying to decide what to have for dinner now….. She wanders back into the kitchen…yup straight to the crock-pot she goes…. (I have turned it up to high so maybe it will be cooked by bedtime) she touches the lid lightly… she knew it was hot.   I said firmly “do not touch that”…. She tried to explain that she was just making sure it was ok… and that it was very hot …… I said “get away from the crock-pot and do not touch it again”  

OMG!!!  If you could have seen the daggers she was throwing at me with her eyes!!  She stared me down and I said…”you can give me stink eye all you want… I don’t care….. Please get out of the kitchen”    Well off she stomped…. I thought she was headed to her room to stew… nope she grabbed the broom and I was almost thinking she would have loved to whop me upside the head with it…..…. But out the front door she goes to sweep the patio!! 

About 15 minutes later.. She had mellowed out and was only moderately irritated with me….I decided this would be a great time for me to go get dinner…. Captain D’s here I come!!  When I got back she was still a bit fussy, but by bedtime all is back to normal….. Whatever that is  J

Day 14 Exhausted!!

Well it's been a day...... I called home today as I always do to make sure everything was good and she says "NO"    I ask "What is wrong?"    She says  "Where are you?"  I say "At school"   She says "Oh my I didn't know where anyone was?"    Really it is 2pm and it didn't dawn on her that we were both gone to work???

Later that afternoon as I am trying to grill some dinner while returning phone calls she gets paranoid because I am running in and out of the house and on the phone.   She started to think I was talking about having someone come in to live here or send her somewhere. Thank goodness that ended quickly!!

She disappeared after dinner and I was wondering where she went.  I find her in her bathroom she had had an accident not too bad but she had tried to clean herself and instead of soap she used toothpaste!!!         She had rubbed it on her hands and legs...... needless to say I have now put the toothpaste way up in the cup board so she can't reach it.

While tonight wasn't the most aggravating it has worn me out!

Day 13 Hide 'n' Seek

        Mom's been on the warpath for several days because she wants to go to Canada...same story different day..    For several days she has been really mad at me, hard to believe she remembers why!    Anyway after a 13 hour day today, I come home and see that she has been VERY busy.  She is actually talking to me now without sounding disgusted.
        As you know she likes to clean and boy has she been at it today.  All the dishes that were in the dish drainer are now spread all over the counter tops.      She thinks she has helped by spreading them everywhere.
      She had taken the pot holders and hung them around the kitchen in various places.  I go to put things away and open the Tupperware cupboard,   cereal comes pouring out....... Evidentally she had gotten the cereal down  and tried to open it ( it was allready open at one end)  this made both ends open.     No box to be found!!       The cupboard  door was holding the cereal in place so as soon as I opened it, out poured flaky crumbled cereal all over... I had to laugh!  I can't find the box anywhere... Hhuummmmm??

      I then get ready to fix my dinner..... it is now almost 9 pm.  I am searching for something decent and start opening containers and to my surprise I discover  a piece of cheese cake with honey roasted peanuts poured all over it!  I search the kitchen for the peanut jar to make sure it is no longer available to her and finally find it in the back of the fridge, of course no lid....Hhuummmmm?

I am looking forward to discovering where she had hidden the box from the cereal and the lid to the nuts......... I feel like a crime detective :)  Not sure what else I  might discover!!!

Day 12 Here we go again!

Well it's been a few days since we have visited.... On Sunday I took mom to visit her friend, and once again the idea of her old house came back to haunt me.  On the way home she wanted to stop at her old house (one of my daughters is living there to maintain and make improvements)  so I called to tell my daughter we would be by. I had groceries in the back of my car so our visit would need to be fast.

OK, you need to know that on the way to the house she has been talking about seeing her "things" to make sure everything is fine...... she speaks with distain, as if someone is doing something to her stuff.
We go inside and we are greeted by my daughters dog.    all she wants to do is pet the darn dog... I remind her that we need to go because of the groceries and she needs to go look at her stuff so we can leave..... she still is messing with the stinking dog..... finally she walks down the hall, peeks in one room, and that was it!!    SERIOUSLY????

We get back in the car and again all she can talk about is how she CAN live alone... and by golly she WILL.    This went on for two days!!!   So when she needed my help with something I would say, suppose you were alone.... what would you do.   She finally gave in and at least for now is resigned to living with us.

On the lighter side..... when I went to brush her teeth, I noticed she had some white stuff on one of her arms. It was strange in its consistency, as I was washing it off it released an odor.... yes it was toothpaste that she had used as lotion!!   LOL

Day 11 Cleanliness is next to Godliness

Mom is pretty good at personal hygiene, however sometimes it gets funny. Today was one of those days. During mom's  shower today I was waiting on her bed in case she needs me. I heard her say she was finished. When she says that she is ready to have some shampoo put in her hair.   So I go in and put some shampoo on her head and said "now scrub it real good so you get bubbles."  At that point she takes her hands and starts wiggling her belly!! She was trying to wash her belly instead of her head.  It was too cute.   LOL

I smiled and put her hands on her head and away she went..... she made lots of bubbles.... : )

Tonight  was a bit tough..... she tried to brush her own teeth tonight and she came to the front room to show me that she was ready to go to bed.  She had taken out her partial (top front teeth) I asked her if she used toothpaste and she said yes.  She tried to prove to me that she had used toothpaste by picking at her top molars!!  I said  "  does your mouth feel fresh and smell good? "  again she tries to pull her teeth out!!   Needless to say she did not use toothpaste so off we went to brush those babies.

Then after I said goodnight and thought she was asleep here she comes down the hall fully dressed.... wanting to know about going somewhere tomorrow....She is paranoid about living here. I understand that is a common symptom... she is always worried about having to leave... no matter how many times I reassure her that she lives here...................frustrating night.

Day 10 Who's your daddy?

Well things had been calm lately and last night while we were channel surfing.
(honestly Sunday night TV is terrible )

Mom  asks me " now how did we meet?"

Me " you gave birth to me."

Mom " no i didn't"

Me "yes you did"

Mom "no I didn't, my mom would be really upset if I did that."

I tried to explain that it was OK because she was married but that was not going to  work for her!    She is determined to figure out if I am telling the truth.   She does not remember her first husband (my dad) at all.   Therefore, I must be lying to her.

Off to bed she goes with a scowl across her face..... Oh tomorrow is going to be interesting.....

follow up to day 9

Well ........ I had been hopeful that mom didn't remember her own home which was true.  However the next morning by the dawns early light..... she recognized the neighbors house... not her own but the neighbors.... VERY INTERESTING as Col. Klink would say!! (Hogan's Hero's)  

So the games began.... explaining why she can't still live there.....etc.   this ended about 8 pm that evening.   She certainly doesn't have ADD.... she was focused all darn day!!

Hopefully her brain has reset itself overnight and we will not access any former memory!!

Day 9 Sometimes it;s a blessing!

Most of you reading this know that we are having a heatwave. Quite frankly I feel that is an understatement.  It should really be called a 'Hellwave'  yesterday 108º today 109º and by Wednesday anywhere from 110º to 115º. And as luck would have it..... yes..... our air conditioner decided to take a break from it's job.

Last night at 9pm it was 90º inside the house with all the fans going etc.  I decided it was way too hot for mom to stay here. My daughter is living in my mom's old house fixing it up so that it can be ready to sell when needed. She offered us coolness and we took her up on it.  Then it hit me.... uh oh..... mom is always thinking about the past and if she sees her house it will drag all those memories up again and it will be another type of 'hell'.   No choice really..... just have to take our chances and pray she doesn't recognize anything.

At 10 o'clock we get to the "old" house, on the way she was questioning where we were going and I answered her honestly but vaguely....."to the place my daughter lives"   I took a different route to try to avoid drawing up any old memories.   We arrive and so far so good, no recognition at all.  We go in show mom  her bed for the night.  She looks around and I thought "oh no.... here it comes" but nope  she says  "i really like this place, I have never been here, I didn't know where you stayed but I like it."  Thank you GOD. 

I left her there this morning in the care of my other daughter, and I am waiting on the repair guys to come get the AC rolling again.  88º inside the house at 10 am..... it's gonna be a long day.... glad I look good with the "wet hair"  look.  ☼ ☼ ☼

Day 8 Hear we go !!!

Well today we went to get mom's hearing aid.    I  hate to admit it but it is as much for me as it is for her......... the TV is set to a volume that you can hear throughout the house....... 20 is what it says.    As soon as she goes to bed I drop it down to 7 or  8..... as you can tell its about 3 times louder than necessary.    I occasionally use ear plugs just to be able to tolerate the sound.   I hope she will wear it at least while she watches TV.

Well so far so good, she has had it in for about 3 hours and currently the TV is set at a volume of 11 and she is perfectly happy..... so am I ☺     We stopped at Arby's to celebrate her new ears and she was all worried about how she would be able to eat...."now, will I just use this side...(meaning the hearing aid side) I reminded her that it affected her ears not her mouth.

When we got home she needed to use the restroom, she became a bit flustered about "how was she going to do this now?"   She was rubbing her belly and scared to take her pants down because she wasn't sure what to do now.....LOL...... poor thing thought her bathroom routine would be totally different.  I stayed while she finished to reassure her that it is OK.... 
Everything came out fine !!!! ..... sorry I couldn't help the horrible pun !!!

Day 7 Gone to the dogs!

        Well things had been going fairly well with the exception of Mom's desire to go to Canada...... for those of you who don't know, she is a "Canadian citizen".  ( Here legally if you were wondering )    When I was younger I remember saying she was an "alien" this was long before E.T. hit the big screen.   She has a younger brother and sister-in -law (my favorite aunt and uncle by the way)  who live in Canada and came to visit her about a year ago.

      My mom grew up in a small town and there is a wonderful beach approx 20 min from her home.  She spent most summers at this beach located in  New Brunswick Canada (far east coast).    She has wonderful memories about this beach and that time in her life. She wants to go back to visit/stay.  This is not a possibility, tickets are about $1000 each and school starts in 3 weeks not enough time.

       She doesn't remember her brothers visit at all.  She thinks I am lying. 
She got quite an attitude and threatened to just go by herself...
Me: " how are you going to get there?"..
Mom: "I'll just go out there" (meaning the front door)........
Me: "then what?"
Mom: "I'll get a job so I can get there" 
Me: "what will you do?"   
Mom:" I can just do this" ( as she flings her arms in the air... kinda like a traffic cop in NY).
LOL


 She was being such a turkey.... I called them so they could verify I was not lying to her..... After several minutes of telling her that she had seen "her family" and that there is no way to go right now.. she settled down a bit.   But today it all came back again.

Thank goodness Shelbs was here with her laptop!  She has a webcam and one of the programs it has displays an avatar of your choice... we picked a blonde poodle. Mom loves dogs I mean really loves dogs. Every night she pets the dog goodnight and says "I love you"............ doesn't even blink my way.... not kidding!!  :)

This avatar imitates your every move. You blink, it blinks, you smile it, smiles etc.... thank goodness it got her mind off traveling... at least until tomorrow... we shall see!

Here is a link to view the webcam program it is pretty neat.. Kids would love it!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kL5FO1ivUz0&feature=related

Day 6 Lost & Found...

So today, my new washer ( which is smarter than I am) informs me that it needs to be cleaned... Alright.... let me find the manual to look up how to do this~ uh oh this is a problem.

I look in the file cabinet on our closet, on top of the fridge ..........no manual.  I look in the hubbies man cace nope not there either.    I ask mom if she has seen it.   I describe it as simply as possible but she doesn't get it so  I ask her if I could look in her drawers.  She says sure but she is quite sure she doesn't have it.  We shall see.......

I start opening her drawers, and nothing, nothing, nothing...... then I find something unexpected....
The gas bill for last month!!!  She has hidden our mail in her pj drawer.

I wondered why I got a  partial payment/late  notice!!!   I evidently paid the previous months  bill twice.  She says she has NEVER done that!  Meaning take the mail.... oh yes she has... she has hidden my appt book, magazines and  other bills I didn't take care of immediately... I must do the whole "bill paying" much more timely.... to avoid the disappearing paper problem.
 
But I digress,  so the search continues.......... come to find out about 15 minutes later.... the husband had stashed it on  his side of the closet sweater cubby!   thanks hon!!!

Day 5 White glove test ready!

today i was stripping beds and cleaning up a bit... so mom has a floor fetish,she can spot any miniscule piece of debris  from at least 6 ft away. Today she had been sweeping the floor ( she spent about 30 min making little piles everywhere, I secretly go around after her and gather them up)

About 10 minutes after she finished the floor she expresses her disgust at the "things" on the beige area rug.... "don't you want to do something here?"

You see this carpet is an 8x10 rug that cost about $50 bucks from Home Depot.  It has small flecks in it so yes there are some pieces that don't "belong" but overall it is clean.


She decides to "get" those dark spots out... so there she is down on her knees attempting to pick the pieces out of the carpet.  I tried to get her so stop but she would not listen to me... 30 minutes later she gave up. 

For dinner we had take out, the leftover salt/pepper paper packages were left on the counter. While I was working on some bills, she decided to open them to see what they were.... she is very paranoid about every little thing... mail not addressed to her, conversations she doesn't hear well  and evidently condiments!!

Day 4 Family Fun on the 4th (really the 3rd we celebrated a day early)

Well this weekend my son came in from Maryland, and the girls from Edmond so we had a houseful and it was fun! Mom was a bit overwhelmed with the "idea of company"  But when everyone got here she began to relax a bit. She wasn't sure who everyone was or how they were related but she did know she loved them (grandkids)

Since we did some cooking we seem to have collected several flies in the house.  Back in the day mom was a Ninja when in came to catching flies..... I kid you not, she would pluck them out of the air with her bare hands. Well today she had one buzzing around her head and instead of having her "Ninja" skills on target she was a bit off...... she tried to get it and wound  up smacking  herself on the forehead pretty hard..... when she realized what she did she started laughing like the rest of us!!

We had lots of fireworks and mom was not too crazy about the noise... hard to believe since she can't hear anyone who is talking to her.  LOL   She decided to go to bed a bit early.

This morning about 9 mom wakes up and says "Where have I been?"  to this I reply "asleep"  she stares at me and announces that she is going to "go back there" and off she goes down the hall back to bed!....... 3 hours later... she's up.  Wish I could check out like that!!

Day 3 Kung foo!

We had just gotten home from running errands and my husband comes home, might I say in an unusually good mood so he is playing and teasing us quite a bit.  Mom and he were playing around and she raised her hands like she was going to "karate chop" him.......
He says "I didn't know you knew "kung fu" and  she  responds "yes, he was a little guy ! "

I thought I was going to wet my pants!! He dropped to the floor in laughter.... Honestly one of the funniest moments in the last month!!

Day 2

Ok, so since most of you reading this don't know my mom a bit of history is necessary from time to time. She is a clean freak! When I was younger, Saturday mornings 8am were meant for cleaning our house. It didn't matter what.... up and at 'em was the rule....

The time 8:30 am I am getting ready to clean house and Mom meets me (I am standing)  in the hallway "are you awake?" she says as she is staring at me!! LOL
I tell her that "yes I am awake are you awake?"  Mom...."well I think I am still asleep"  She then turns around and goes back to bed.... 3 hrs later she is ready to wake up.

So we cleaned today in preparation of my son's arrival and the fact that the house was dirty. She wanted to help so I told her she could dust her room... a few minutes (20) later I go check on her and she is huffing and puffing like a freight train! She had been cleaning the bathroom floor with her dust rag....Thank goodness for bathroom rugs!!  She is so proud of her dusting job! So am I :)

Just spent 20 minutes explaining that this is not Christmas ( it's 103 degrees today!!) I won't be making cookies for this weekend....... It is 7:30pm..... long night ahead.... gotta get her to stop thinking!!

Day 1

I had a friend that I was sharing Mom's adventures with and she suggested I write them down because someday I will wish I had... we shall see.....

Well here goes, I was not a very good English student so I ask forgiveness in advance for excessive comma usage, poor verb tense agreement and run on sentences as I am sure this first statement proves!!

I am in my middle age I will let you imagine what that might be, and I have taken on the responsibility of taking care of my Mom. She lives in our house ( my husband's and mine) I have a full time job teaching as well as an evening job I do part-time. My hubby also works 50 hrs a week so we are home some, but not that much.  Mom moved in with us in December because she was no  longer able to live alone.

She has several humorous and harmless behaviors...she likes to hide lids to most anything! There is no telling what surprise you might find in the cupboards!.. She also likes to hide her teeth! She has lost 2 sets of partials because she hid them so well!!  I have found them in the Tupperware (filled with food in the fridge) to in a box of cereal bars up in the cupboard above the stove/vent-a-hood.... did I mention she is short!!  I have no idea how they got up there... I am picturing her doing 3 pointers from across the kitchen!!