#31 Oops!

Well it's been a while since we last talked, things have been real hectic with the start of a very stressful school year in addition to Mom's health taking a bit of a nose dive...

I usually try to post when something funny happens to balance the sadness/frustration.  Lately there has not been much funny..  I have started going to the gym at 5:30 every morning.. it makes me feel better and I do think I handle the stress better...as much as I HATE mornings!

She doesn't do too many funny things these days... mostly I have to keep a very close eye on her.  Her caretaker stays about 4 hours a day and that stills seems to work fine.  About a week ago, on my way  home from the salon Anthony calls to let me know mom had had an "accident" in the recliner we got last year at Christmas...When I got home she was in her bedroom trying to put on new clothes.

I stripped the cushion, washed and deodorized it then hung it in the garage to dry... I went to help mom figure out what to wear. She was wondering why she was changing her clothes and I tried to explain to her that she had had an accident. She never did "get it".... after her asking me 4 times in 5 minutes what happened to the chair... I traded cushions so "her" chair was usable.   This seemed to end the questions.  But she never did get that she wet her pants!

So, now she wears those adult diapers everyday... just in case....

Wish she was doing something funny these days.... we could both use the laugh.
One new thing is her drinking cups....... I am trying to get her to use a "tippy" cup to keep from spilling her drinks but she is having a problem putting the spout in her mouth.. she keeps putting it up her nose!!   It's been about 3 days and she still can't seem to do it on her own...  we will keep trying!

Will try to post more often..... It helps me..Now off to put her to bed and enjoy a nice glass of red wine~ Night All.

#30 A day from H3!!

Well maybe it's because it is the day before I have to go back to school, or maybe it is because its been 100+ degrees for way too many days or maybe it is just a day from hell.     Like most days this day started with mom waking up looking bewildered and suprised/relieved to see someone.  I was here when she got up and got her dressed etc. all seemed fine.  Then the  "Canada" crap started... she seems to think she was there last year and wants to go back.. I tried my hardest to explain to her that it is too far, too expensive and not possible and again she just didn't belive me.  I tried to call my Aunt (in Canada) to get her to back up my story but they did not answer.  

I decided that we needed to find something to redirect her attention so we went to see the movie "Hope Springs"  with my good friend ...  A very decent movie and it seemed to do the trick.  When we got home it started again... I asked if she wanted some dinner (it was a bit early)  she said yes so I fix us dinner and she isn't hungry. OK, so I put it up for a while. I then ask if she wants a drink (root beer)  no she's fine, as soon as I got my drink she wanted one... then just now I am having a glass of white wine ( need several!!)  She wants to know what it is... I tell her and remind her she doesn't like it..AGAIN she doesn't believe me... so I give her some of mine... she says its good and doesn't drink another drop... so as she is getting up she spills it everywhere!    I was not upset at the spill, I was upset that I have no more!!!   It has been one thing after another .... I can't reach her daycare lady who is supposed to be here tomorrow.. but I can't confirm that so I am a bit stressed.... Sorry this is not the normal "funny" post I prefer to do.. I just needed to vent!   Thanks for listening~

# 29 Magic Mike lights a fire!

Ok,  I have start by saying I wasn't sure if mom would want to go see Magic Mike, a movie about male strippers.  ( There was no doubt for me!  LOL)  When I told her what it was about she said sure... "it might help her" ...not exactly sure how, but anyway...   We go to the movie, and afterward I asked her what she thought... she said she thought it "was stupid, but the boy seemed like a nice one" 

The next day we were in the pool and there were clouds in the sky so Pam, myself and mom were looking at them and trying make the clouds into shapes, we had an astronaut, pig, eyeball etc...  Well Pam had gone with us to the movie the day before and we started to see "boy parts: penis"  Mom didn't have her hearing aid in so we had to repeat it a bit louder. When she heard what Pam had said... I asked her if she knew what the was.. she said "Yes"   I asked "well what do you do with it"   She said "Well,  you better work it!"....... Pam and I about died laughing.. no further question asked~

# 28 Summer is here~

Mom has been good lately, she has a real loose tooth that will be removed at her next dentist appt.  that leaves her about 6 teeth on the bottom... good grief that girl has bad teeth.. bless her heart.   She has been wanting to go to Canada, I think the warm weather triggers thoughts of the beach.  I have told her that I too would like to go but it is too far and too $$.   

I have been wanting a pool for several years and a few weeks ago Anthonys friend  had one he was ready to get rid of. So he and his friends took the pool down and got it up and running in about a week. 'A' about died doing it.. he got heat stroke and missed several days of work but he finished it which was the goal..  Mom and I have been in it about 3 or 4 times in the last couple of weeks and it seems to satisfy the "Canada" issue.. so far so good anyway! 

Her overall state has changed only a wee bit....  She now prefers to eat with her fingers, and often doesn't recognize  what the "fork" even is.  She has completely forgotten how to wipe her bum after using the restroom, so we change panties several times a day because she doesn't like the brown skid marks and wonders why they are there.  When I am with her I always follow her and remind her to 'wipe' her bum.....   It is crazy that the clean freak in her doesn't even appear for this activity...  She is enjoying "America's Got Talent".... and the caregiver Jo is working out well. 

We (A and I) hope to get away for a few days, one of my daughters and Jo  will care for her when we are gone,,,,Of course, brother has yet to volunteer a night of care even though he talks about it a lot.

#27 Squeeze Play (Early June)

Well, today as mom was getting ready for bed.... (she tries by herself and if she gets stuck she comes to see me... most of the time she needs help)  She comes to me in her bra and capri pants and I notice something wrapped around her waist... it appears to be her underwear!  Yes we go to her room and somehow she has put her butt through a single leg!  I asked her if it seemed uncomfortable and she said no... even though it left a red mark!!  Then as I told her good nite... she responds  "good night thank you for what I have in me"  Not sure what that means.. but it was interesting~

#26 Memorial day drama

Well School has just gotten out and the caregiver "Jo" now has an 8o something year old man who she watches occasionally.  On this particular day she had both mom and "Riley" so she took mom to her house and the three of them visited etc.... Evidently mom is quite the flirt and Riley had no idea she had memory issues.  when it was time for her to go home she didn't want to leave.

She had a bit of an attitude when I got home.  Then a few days later she and Anthony were teasing each other... it's more him teasing her than her teasing him.  She thought she would be clever and she goes to grab her coffee cup (filled with root-beer) and pretend to throw it on him.... problem is she turned the cup upside down and it poured all over her, the chair the floor.  We were attempting to go to dinner to celebrate my birthday (a few weeks late)  needless to say we (I) spent the next 30 minutes cleaning up the sticky mess.  URGGHHHHH.   We did go to dinner and it was good.... 2 glasses of wine helped!

Then today (Memorial Day) we got an entertainment center from my brother... in the process he lost a bungee strap. Good Lord, she was obsessed with finding it for him. She says "I can see things other people can't"... and I am thinking... really now.. you don't see the fork on your plate but you can "see things" She proceeds to search the driveway looking at and picking up all types of stones/rocks that she sees.  I told her that they were trash and the nasty attitude surfaced again.  "How do you know if its trash or not?"   I said  "I just know, now please throw it away"     No such luck. She put her pile of stones on the patio table and made it clear that they were staying right here.   I grabbed them and tossed them within minutes of her being distracted. 

Husband is trying to put the entertainment unit together so I thought it best to stay away.... and with mom being a bit stubborn today... I would like to be farther away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

# 25 New meds

Mom got her new meds that the pharmacy said insurance wouldn't cover.... after calling the insurance company they will cover it. So we will see how it will work.

Had a good time with mom this evening... we went to the store and on the way there she decided to wave at several "MEN" in their cars as we drove by them.    What a flirt!  Not sure if this is how she behaved as a teenager but she certainly likes to wave at people now... mostly men!!   She laughed when I told her to stop it or one of those fellas might just try to flirt back!

The caregiver is working out well.  She takes mom to her house where she has a garden.  She and mom work in the garden ( not sure how much mom does)... but she seems to enjoy whatever it is she is doing.

It has been about three weeks since we started the new meds, so far I think it is helping!  YAY!!  Now don't get too excited, because when I say helping that just means she is more "with it".  She still doesn't understand the difference between using her fingers to eat with or a fork, but she is at least alert and seems to respond a bit better. 

Of course as soon as I say she is aware... she proves me wrong!!  I gave her a shower this Sunday (the 22nd)  and as she was drying off... I ran to put a load of laundry in to wash.  As soon as I came back I see her trying to put her hearing aide in her mouth!!  I had left it on her dresser and I guess she was thinking it was her teeth!   glad she couldn't get it to fit!!  LOL

Today, I gave her some grapes that were getting old so she could toss them around the front yard.... she loves to see all the birds and squirrels... maybe she will have some good entertainment tonight or tomorrow.

#24 Spring Break

It's been a while since we last visited, I know I should do better.  I always think about writing stuff then don't have time... then forget what I was going to write....slightly ironic wouldn't you say.

 Mom's teeth  or lack thereof are doing well.  However, the antibiotics gave her some hideous diarrhea!  OMG it was awful... I felt bad for me, the sitter and mom...  Thank goodness that has somewhat ended. I say somewhat because mom has gotten to the point where in the mornings after that first cup of coffee she needs to be VERY near a toilet.  She forgets that she needs to go.... so what happens is this; She decides she needs to use the restroom... heads that way, looks out the window to "stalk" the neighbors, then picks up a piece of lint from the floor, then realizes that OH CRAP!!  ( pardon the pun) she better hurry... and then........ yup.... she makes it ALMOST<<< some in the toilet some not and the mess begins.

I give you this lovely play by play so you can appreciate my story.
We were on our way home from the dentist this week after her teeth were cleaned. It was about 11:30.  We were almost to get on the highway and she mentions that she may need to use the restroom.....I ask her can she hold it and she says she will try.  I know that is not a good sign so I speed up to get to a little "five and dime" store praying they have a public restroom... I run inside the lady says "yes" so I go back outside to get mom. We HURRY into the bathroom and again.... yup too late!  She has had some major loose stools in her panties and it soaked into her pants as well. 

Here we are in a store (thank God it was a single stall room) and I have stripped her naked from the waist down... no shoes socks etc...   I was so thankful that there was a roll of trash bags, cleaner and paper towel on a shelf.  (thank you GOD)   I proceed to wrap her panties is a plastic trash bag and threw them away, use paper towels to clean her and the bathroom floor,  then use the sink to rinse/wash her pants so she could try to wear them home.  I then clean and sanitize the sink with the cleaner.

The paper towels blotted the water out of her pants quite well after about 10 minutes they were only damp... we tried to escape unnoticed.... not sure if it worked but if I can ever show my face in that store again... I will try to purchase lots of things to make up for the number of paper towels and cleaner I used!.....  Upside, I did leave the bathroom in excellent condition for the next customer....
Lesson of the day.... always ask about her bathroom needs BEFORE getting in the car.

Today was a good day.... she enjoys Dancing with the Stars and was talking to the people on the show as if they could hear her... she says she is going to "do this and that" whatever that means~

#23 wish I knew the tooth fairy!

OK, well last Thursday when I got home from school I look at mom and saw that she had broken her bottom front tooth.  Here was this big gap and she had absolutely no idea what happened to it.  I call the dentist and he could see her the following Monday.   Her teeth are so bad that she is in no pain what so ever.   This event must have happened within a 45 minute window, from when "Jo" the sitter left and I came home. 

When we went to the dentist the x-ray revealed that the tooth right next to the one that broke is in worse shape than the one that broke.  So instead of having one tooth removed she had 2 taken out.. that makes 3 teeth gone in the middle of her bottom front teeth..... I told her most people could suck spaghetti noodles.... but at the rate she is going she could suck lasagna noodles!!!  Sad but true!

She is on antibiotics and hopefully all will go well.  Wish I knew where to put her teeth so the tooth fairy could throw a couple of bucks her way !!!

#22 OOPS...... she did it again!!!

Well the last time we talked, well I guess we didn't really talk...... but you kinda listen by reading this blog mom had a Drs.  appointment.  All her tests came back good, I found it ironic that the office nurse mentioned she was due for a colonoscopy and a mammogram.   I asked them if  it was necessary at this time.  When the Dr, came in she agreed that it was a bit unnecessary at this stage of her life  to have either of these tests done.  Sad as it is, if there were something wrong I am not so sure that treatment would be the best thing for her..... it would probably just make her body a bit better and her mind a lot worse.   We did talk about adding a memory medication to her current meds.  It's  called Namenda  so I said yes.  I go to the pharmacy to pick it and a few other prescriptions and the pharmacist asked "are you sure you want this one filled?"   I  asked him "why not?"  He proceeded to  tell me that insurance won't cover it and you start with the low dose and then work your way up.... the low dose would cost $270 and the final dosage would run about $700 per month!!  SERIOUSLY....   that would be her entire Soc Sec check gone for one medication!   So the answer was no.    I am checking into a patient assistance program to see if she can get some discount.    That is crazy!! 

Well, as the week progressed, things went well  I came home from school Friday to check on her before I went to work at the salon.  I came in the house and notice her can of root beer on the floor by the dogs dish.  She wanted to make sure the dog had something to drink! LOL    When I took a good look at her I noticed she had no teeth in her mouth.  Now how on earth did she loose her teeth within 40 minutes of the babysitter leaving???   Who knows..... I am looking frantically in and on everything I have to find them before I go to work!   Of course, when I finally get to the trash can under the sink I see a Tupperware container that she tossed and in it was ... you got it her teeth!!  Thank you God! 

Today when I got home from the salon, she got a haircut and after her shower, I had laid out some clean panties etc.    I hand her the underwear and say put these on and she proceeds to put them over her head!!  Made me think of every teenage/drunk movie where someone puts their underwear on their heads and dances around.... I had to laugh!! 

Speaking of dances,tonight I am going to chaperone a high school dance..... I love to see the kids cleaned up trying to be grown! 

#21 Grumpy girl!

Well it's been a couple of weeks since the "sitter" started and that seems to be working out well. I just hope that mom is being nicer to her than she is to my husband and I.     She has been a grumpy goose lately, yesterday she was eating her salad and had her fork dangling in the air while she was looking around at nothing. The salad dressing was dripping off it and onto her, the chair etc.   I was hoping she would put the fork back near her plate but that was not to be the case.   She looked around trying to find the "fork" which of course was in her hand.. she had no idea what the heck I was talking about.  When I got up to help her put the fork back near the plate .....omg did she get an attitude.   She got a sour look and started to be "pissy". She was refusing to finish her dinner.... well I had to play the "Big Mama" card and get a bit firm with her...... she didn't like it but she came around.

Tonight Anthony was in charge because I worked late and for some reason she got suspicious of him and so he told her "ok ,  I don't understand why you are being this way but go ahead, Sandy will be home soon."   I pull up the drive way about 15 minutes later and I see her staring out the window stalking anything outside!   By the time I had pulled into the garage she had disappeared from the kitchen ( where the window is)  I went back to the bedroom to catch up on the days event. When I came back out.... I saw her sneaking around the corner watching for me... I acted like I didn't see her to see what she would do.  A minute later I spoke to her.... she confessed she didn't think she was very nice to Anthony so she wanted to say she was sorry.   I tried to figure out what she thought he had done and she could not tell me a darn thing.....

to end on a funny note..... when we went back to brush her teeth.. I always have to tell her to stand up straight so I can see better.   This time I helped her to be "taller" and I told her to stand tall so her boobs would stick out.... she spewed tooth paste out of her mouth with laughter!!   LOL at least the day ended well!!

Dr appt tomorrow, nothing big just a medicine check..... later!

# 20 Let the silliness begin!

Well the first week of having someone help mom went well.  The  80yr old caregiver was awesome.  During the week, she made mom some fruity jello with whip cream, brought over some potato soup, went for a drive one day and stopped to have lunch at a local restaurant and the next day  she polished moms nails and she loved it!!

I came home Saturday after working at the salon, to find she (mom) had put a jar of horseradish in the ice dispenser tube.  She had also gotten into the Cheetos... which she loves!!

Today we went to see "Joyful Noise"... cute movie lots of gospel music and great one liners.  She seemed to enjoy it.
When she was getting ready for bed,  she went to the restroom and somehow she managed to have one leg of her pants fine while the other leg the "panties" were on the outside of her pants... she came hobbling down the hallway with her butt exposed becasue she couldn't get the pants all the way up!! LOL   A scary sight for sure!!

Still waiting to hear from the hearing aid people ...... ironic!  Hope they call soon! 

# 19 Daycare and other events!

I need to start writing things down to share more often!  I keep thinking "oh, I will write this"  then when I get ready write....poof! it's gone.   One thing I do remember is that during the Christmas break, I was watching some daytime TV with mom and "Let's Make a Deal" came on.   Well as I may have mentioned earlier, she thinks any bald black man is my husband. so of course she thinks that Wayne Brady ( the host) is my hubby!!  "Is that your fella?" she says... I try to convince her that he is at work and that is someone else.  

The funniest thing happened as the young blonde gal that shows off the prizes.... Mom starts talking.. I try to make sense of it but am having problems figuring out exactly what she meant...     Come to find out she was talking to the TV because the blonde girl was talking to mom!!   Yup.. she thought the gal on the TV was trying to show mom what she was going to get.  She believed the lady on the TV could see her!!!    It was a bit of a challenge to convince her that the lady could not see her and unfortunately she was not going to get the prizes being given away!!

Mom's hearing aid is in the shop getting fixed, in the mean time I am losing my mind.  I am wearing earplugs!  Between the husband who has his TV blaring, Mom with the living room TV going full blast.  I hope it gets back soon!! They said it would take about a week... that means tomorrow.   We will see.


Today was the first day of someone coming to stay with mom for a few hours I think it went well.  Mom said she enjoyed the lady (who is 80 and has a good mind and physically good)  It's nice they are about the same age.   Jo ( the caregiver) called and said things went well too... I hope that it continues to go well.   She will come each day I am working during the week to make sure that mom takes her meds and eats a decent lunch... by definition that means she eats the lunch...NOT the dog!!   LOL