Final Post

As most of you who have read this blog know mom passed away Nov. 15th 2014.  She was cremated and we will be having her "Happy Heavenly" birthday party on the 18th of April.
We will sprinkle (actually bury) her ashes under the Japanese Maple  by my porch, she always loved the colors  and  watching the Robins who laid their eggs in that tree.

We will share each others funny, favorite memories with some of her favorite foods. Of course root-beer will be served.  

I will no longer post to this blog but will keep it up so I can revisit the adventures we had when I need to smile.

Thanks for joining me....Sandy

Yesterday was a tough day!

Yesterday morning I had to break the news to mom that she would not be living with us anymore.I had my mini "breakdown" when I went to get her from the caregiver yesterday morning on our way to the facility.  I explained that the "Dr." had called and had determined that "we" needed more help than we had to take good care of her. She was mad at the idea of him "making" us do this and she was definitely less than pleased with me for going along with it. 

We had visited a week earlier to have a quick evaluation and fill out some paperwork, she thought she was just there to talk to the nurse. As we pulled into the facility she had no recollection of us ever being there.

My Husband,brother and daughter helped move furniture and hang pictures. She sat and was grumpy even when the nurses tried to humor her with lunch, ice cream and an art project. 

I feel so blessed that we were able to find a woman to be mom's friend for the last 2 years... it allowed her to stay with us so much longer that she would have...
I feel remorse that I can no longer handle her needs yet relief that she is able to go to a place right near the house and has gotten very good recommendations. The Regional nurse just happened to be there that day and she said we had made a "Very good choice"... So hopefully this will be the case.

It was surreal last night not having to be "on watch" or have bedtime duty let alone not having to getup at 5:40am  to take her to the bathroom.  I can see that it is going to take some time to not feel like I need to be doing something.  Today I went through all her clothes and "Goodwilled" 3 bags full...

I am headed back up there today to take a few more items and see how she is doing.... I am honestly a bit apprehensive about my visit... I hope it doesn't stir her up.

I am sure that this will be one of the few times I will blog for the next several months unless something truly interesting occurs... until then thanks for listening!

#32 Water water everywhere....

Well it has been quite a while since I have had time to sit down and write.. another reason  I have been negligent is due to the fact that not too much has been funny lately.  Mom has been a bit of a pill on most days...

My oldest daughter has moved back in with us (back in November) which I am happy about. I appreciate having another person to help me with mom, especially on the nights I work late and on Saturdays.   While this is a blessing to me... it has wreaked havoc with mom.   My daughter must remind mom of someone she HATES.. she will have nothing to do with her and is hateful to the point of saying very mean things like " I don't love you and you don't love me"  even after being told it is her granddaughter, there is no convincing her that she is here to help.

My daughter has been here for about 4 months and mom is just now beginning to warm up to her...  Mom has had a bad attitude alot lately, she is paranoid that we are talking about her... she often thinks about leaving even though she has nowhere to go....She grabbed her sweater and her vest the other day and said she was leaving... when we said "OK"  she turned around and came back in the house and said " I can do what I want"... LOL.. so much for leaving............I have been told this is normal and just another fabulous part of this crappy disease.

Moms condition has become increasingly  more demanding. She now requires care most of the time.. I can only leave her for about 30 min or so without supervision.  She wears diapers because of the lack of muscle control, not full on need of them just preventative.  She seldom uses a fork or spoon and now uses a sippy cup to prevent spills.   She can't dress herself or use the restroom without assistance, which brings me to the most current  situation we have had.

I was teaching Thursday and get a text from the caregiver telling me to call her we had a water problem.  I call her and evidently the toilet had overflowed for about an hour or more and there is water everywhere... I left school as soon as I could and find that water has spilled and soaked about 4 to 5 ft  past the bathroom into her bedroom and soaked the carpet comppletely. I rented a carpet cleaner and spent 4 hours sucking water out  of the carpet.

What you ask might have caused such a mess???  90% of the time mom doesn't wipe herself after using the restroom, but of course this time she decided that she would... the problem is that she flushed the washcloth down the stool causing the backup.  I plunged and cleared the toilet it appears that we may no longer leave washcloths near the toilet.

Hoping for a peaceful spring break...... I could sure use it!     Laughter is therapeutic  so is red wine!!  Time for some  "Funniest Home Videos"  and a nice glass of "red"     Bye for now!

#31 Oops!

Well it's been a while since we last talked, things have been real hectic with the start of a very stressful school year in addition to Mom's health taking a bit of a nose dive...

I usually try to post when something funny happens to balance the sadness/frustration.  Lately there has not been much funny..  I have started going to the gym at 5:30 every morning.. it makes me feel better and I do think I handle the stress better...as much as I HATE mornings!

She doesn't do too many funny things these days... mostly I have to keep a very close eye on her.  Her caretaker stays about 4 hours a day and that stills seems to work fine.  About a week ago, on my way  home from the salon Anthony calls to let me know mom had had an "accident" in the recliner we got last year at Christmas...When I got home she was in her bedroom trying to put on new clothes.

I stripped the cushion, washed and deodorized it then hung it in the garage to dry... I went to help mom figure out what to wear. She was wondering why she was changing her clothes and I tried to explain to her that she had had an accident. She never did "get it".... after her asking me 4 times in 5 minutes what happened to the chair... I traded cushions so "her" chair was usable.   This seemed to end the questions.  But she never did get that she wet her pants!

So, now she wears those adult diapers everyday... just in case....

Wish she was doing something funny these days.... we could both use the laugh.
One new thing is her drinking cups....... I am trying to get her to use a "tippy" cup to keep from spilling her drinks but she is having a problem putting the spout in her mouth.. she keeps putting it up her nose!!   It's been about 3 days and she still can't seem to do it on her own...  we will keep trying!

Will try to post more often..... It helps me..Now off to put her to bed and enjoy a nice glass of red wine~ Night All.

#30 A day from H3!!

Well maybe it's because it is the day before I have to go back to school, or maybe it is because its been 100+ degrees for way too many days or maybe it is just a day from hell.     Like most days this day started with mom waking up looking bewildered and suprised/relieved to see someone.  I was here when she got up and got her dressed etc. all seemed fine.  Then the  "Canada" crap started... she seems to think she was there last year and wants to go back.. I tried my hardest to explain to her that it is too far, too expensive and not possible and again she just didn't belive me.  I tried to call my Aunt (in Canada) to get her to back up my story but they did not answer.  

I decided that we needed to find something to redirect her attention so we went to see the movie "Hope Springs"  with my good friend ...  A very decent movie and it seemed to do the trick.  When we got home it started again... I asked if she wanted some dinner (it was a bit early)  she said yes so I fix us dinner and she isn't hungry. OK, so I put it up for a while. I then ask if she wants a drink (root beer)  no she's fine, as soon as I got my drink she wanted one... then just now I am having a glass of white wine ( need several!!)  She wants to know what it is... I tell her and remind her she doesn't like it..AGAIN she doesn't believe me... so I give her some of mine... she says its good and doesn't drink another drop... so as she is getting up she spills it everywhere!    I was not upset at the spill, I was upset that I have no more!!!   It has been one thing after another .... I can't reach her daycare lady who is supposed to be here tomorrow.. but I can't confirm that so I am a bit stressed.... Sorry this is not the normal "funny" post I prefer to do.. I just needed to vent!   Thanks for listening~

# 29 Magic Mike lights a fire!

Ok,  I have start by saying I wasn't sure if mom would want to go see Magic Mike, a movie about male strippers.  ( There was no doubt for me!  LOL)  When I told her what it was about she said sure... "it might help her" ...not exactly sure how, but anyway...   We go to the movie, and afterward I asked her what she thought... she said she thought it "was stupid, but the boy seemed like a nice one" 

The next day we were in the pool and there were clouds in the sky so Pam, myself and mom were looking at them and trying make the clouds into shapes, we had an astronaut, pig, eyeball etc...  Well Pam had gone with us to the movie the day before and we started to see "boy parts: penis"  Mom didn't have her hearing aid in so we had to repeat it a bit louder. When she heard what Pam had said... I asked her if she knew what the was.. she said "Yes"   I asked "well what do you do with it"   She said "Well,  you better work it!"....... Pam and I about died laughing.. no further question asked~

# 28 Summer is here~

Mom has been good lately, she has a real loose tooth that will be removed at her next dentist appt.  that leaves her about 6 teeth on the bottom... good grief that girl has bad teeth.. bless her heart.   She has been wanting to go to Canada, I think the warm weather triggers thoughts of the beach.  I have told her that I too would like to go but it is too far and too $$.   

I have been wanting a pool for several years and a few weeks ago Anthonys friend  had one he was ready to get rid of. So he and his friends took the pool down and got it up and running in about a week. 'A' about died doing it.. he got heat stroke and missed several days of work but he finished it which was the goal..  Mom and I have been in it about 3 or 4 times in the last couple of weeks and it seems to satisfy the "Canada" issue.. so far so good anyway! 

Her overall state has changed only a wee bit....  She now prefers to eat with her fingers, and often doesn't recognize  what the "fork" even is.  She has completely forgotten how to wipe her bum after using the restroom, so we change panties several times a day because she doesn't like the brown skid marks and wonders why they are there.  When I am with her I always follow her and remind her to 'wipe' her bum.....   It is crazy that the clean freak in her doesn't even appear for this activity...  She is enjoying "America's Got Talent".... and the caregiver Jo is working out well. 

We (A and I) hope to get away for a few days, one of my daughters and Jo  will care for her when we are gone,,,,Of course, brother has yet to volunteer a night of care even though he talks about it a lot.